By Jim McGreevey
In 2004, I resigned as Governor of the State of New Jersey as a result of poor decisions I made, and my life has been undoubtedly and irrevocably changed as a result of them. I am not sure what my life would be like if I did not make those decisions, or if I were born during a time when being gay was not viewed so disdainfully. Yet, it is the candid truth that I am happy to be the person I am now, to live the life I am living, and to be doing the work that I am doing.
We often tell ourselves, each other, and certainly our children that the goodness of life is not found in the varied successes we have, but rather in our ability to grow and get back up when we fall down. I do have regrets about some of the choices I made, but I also readily recognize that I am a better person because of my mistakes and failures. I am blessed today to be doing work that enriches and sustains me, and to have two beautiful daughters, two supportive sisters, and two friends who happen to be my ex-wives. Because of them, I now truly understand what matters and what does not.
I recently sat down for an interview with Jake Tapper of CNN, which aired nationally two weeks ago, to discuss the choices I made as Governor that led to my resignation. Although I never broke the law or even came close to doing so, the decisions I made showed poor judgment, and I have always fully accepted responsibility for them.
In August 2004, I gave the most honest speech that I have ever given, stating for the first time that I am gay. I also acknowledged that I had an adult consensual affair with another man, Golan Cipel, whom I had employed as a Counselor to the Governor, which included advice on national security issues. As I have conceded for 20 years, employing Cipel, who was not qualified for such a role, was a decision I ought not to have made.
My decision to announce that I am a gay American, in the face of an imminent lawsuit from Golan Cipel, was the sole basis of my speech and resignation. The implication that the speech and acknowledgement of my homosexuality was deceptively made to cover illegal wrongdoing is wholly without merit and untrue.
In fact, then-U.S. Attorney Chris Christie -- an indefatigable, thorough, and exacting prosecutor -- would have certainly prosecuted any wrongdoing, if any had existed.
Yet these events are from 20 years ago. The lesson is not that I was, am, and will forever be a maker of poor decisions.
For one, I did many good things when I was Governor of New Jersey, and there are numerous initiatives, pieces of legislation, and partnerships for which I am extremely proud to have established and enacted. Secondly, and certainly more importantly, I have become a person who I am proud to be -- not in spite of, but as a result of the many mistakes I have made.
Since leaving the Governor’s Office, I have had the privilege of working with court-involved individuals, those suffering from addiction, and veterans returning from combat to provide them services that help them re-enter the community safely and successfully. I have dedicated my career to serving these people and provided them a second chance, though so many had been deprived of a first one. I am incredibly grateful for this tremendous opportunity, and I know that I would not have had it had events transpired differently.
Errors do not stain the people we are -- as many contend -- but rather make us more experienced, conscientious, and virtuous. We learn from what we have done. As the adage says, “That which gets cut down grows back stronger.”
I am not minimizing the decisions I made 20 years ago, but they have informed me, shown me what is critically important, and allowed me to be a better leader, advocate, and person.
Jim McGreevey, Executive Director of the New Jersey Reentry Corporation, was the 52nd Governor of New Jersey. He is a 2025 candidate for Mayor of Jersey City.