Miss Manners: Where do you draw the line between an annoying late cancellation and keeping a commitment?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I were invited to a dinner party (for eight people) about one month in advance. We happily accepted, but a few days before the party, I started to experience cold symptoms. By the day of the party, I had definitely come down with a cold, with intermittent coughing and nose-blowing.

My wife insisted that we should still attend because we accepted the invitation (and it was “just a cold”), but I was torn between spoiling our friends’ long-planned dinner party with an 11th-hour cancellation or subjecting the other guests to my cough. She did not want to attend alone.

Where do you draw the line between an annoying late cancellation and keeping a commitment when feeling under the weather?

GENTLE READER: Where germs are involved. Disappointed as your hosts may be at your not attending, they would be more upset later to find that they had entertained those uninvited guests.

Miss Manners hopes that you did not attend and have apologized to the hosts, mentioning that you wish you could have notified them earlier. And that you have skipped pointing out that getting a cold was not your fault.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)